The Art of Under Indulgence

Posted by joy

28 Sep

too many toys clutter home practice art of underindulgence I’m convinced that indulging your child is all about the law of supply and demand. The extent to which we overload our kids with heaps of stuff is in direct correlation to the diminishment of joy they get upon receiving them.

Case in point: during potty training my son earned a matchbox car (purchased used from a thrift shop) every time he pooped on the potty. The more successful he became, the less he cared about each toy. He would play with them for a matter of minutes and then demand that he receive the next one.

When indulgences become a habit, the amount needed to satisfy the child mount. For example, if you buy your child a warm cookie every time you visit the bakery, it quickly becomes an expectation instead of a treat. Then, to get something special, you have to upgrade to a donut or cupcake. Once that starts to seem routine, you have to find another item to satisfy your child’s craving for something unique. When those treats are fewer and further between, however, they become something to be savored and remembered.

The same goes for toys. If I brought them home on a daily or weekly basis, my son wouldn’t have the time or space to really appreciate all that he has. As it is, we rotate his moderate number of toys out of the house every few months so that he can enjoy them all over again when we pull them out of the storage box.

What has your experience been with indulging your child? Can you attest that the law of supply and demand applies in your house as well?

Filed under: Baby Gear, Family Life, Living Simply

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2 Responses for "The Art of Under Indulgence"

Leigh September 29th, 2009 at 4:29 am 1
As a child my parents, particularly my Father were big into rewards not bribes. A reward is unexpected and you do not know about it before whatever action go the reward. That is to say we were never bribed. We learned early on we would never get a reward if we just asked for it. They were mostly little things, a slurpie after a hard played soccer game, ice cream cone etc. We came to depend on the idea that if we were reasonably behaved sooner or later a nice treat would come our way. Sometimes they were just because presents.
karalee September 29th, 2009 at 6:40 am 2
My husband started letting our 3 year old pick out a matchbox car after well behaved shopping trips… at first I was not super excited about the idea BUT I’m not the one hauling our 2 boys (one 3 and one 14 months) through the grocery store on a weekly basis. It seems to help keep him in line and I’m all for that.

I also know how much my husband loves matchbox cars and I think it’s secretly a plot so we can own every single matchbox car ever made – and at $.99 a piece, I’m ok with that too. Once in a while they mix things up and get a donut or corndog instead…

I hope the boys are making fond memories of shopping trips with dad (and learning that he and I share responsibilities that were once, not so long ago “womens work”) – it really is the little things they’ll remember. I also think once they get older, we can transition to something that looks more like what Leigh was talking about, rewards… but for now, it works for us and keeps everyone a little more sane.