For the last two and half weeks I’ve been wallowing in the haze of sleeplessness, too exhausted to personally share the news of our second child’s birth. As you may have already read from Rebecca’s announcement, Jovi Nilprabhassorn arrived on June 8^th after nine hours of labor, loads of encouragement, and some uncontrolled screaming towards the end.

After my first child’s birth I thought I knew what to expect with the second. Wrong! From the beginning she established herself as unique with lots of small contractions for hours before labor really intensified.

Even after we arrived at the Midwifery Birth Center, I remember thinking, “This whole labor thing really isn’t that hard! Why did I think this was such a struggle last time?” Within a few hours, I remembered just how painful it could get and realized at one point that I might not make it to the other side of each contraction.

Jett spent the entire time pushing our electric massager (purchased at a thrift store) up against my tailbone and squeezing my hip bones together, both of which were incredibly helpful. My mom, a longtime Lamaze teacher, reminded me to breathe and kept uttering the perfect words of encouragement throughout.

At around 11:50 am I asked to have my water broken and things quickly moved along. At this point, I totally freaked out. Luckily, my midwife gently but firmly coached me through pushing and she arrived just fifteen minutes later after some hysterical screaming. Whew!

After all that, I can’t say I feel like a hero. Instead it puts me in awe of women who have labors that are three or four times as long as mine with lots of complications. How do they do it? How do some women manage labor when they already several children and can’t stop their lives to take the time to recover? It’s humbling!

We are now very tired, but quite happy to have our Jovi in our arms instead of just gazing at her ultrasound image. It wasn’t easy to bring her into the world, she doesn’t exactly sleep at night and she cries a lot, but in the end she’s totally worth it.

My baby’s impending birth has me thinking of those early days with our oldest child.  Even though everyone told me about the exhaustion I would experience, my husband and I were truly humbled by the fatigue we faced in those first few weeks.

The only thing that kept us going was food, provided by friends and family who knew more than we did about having a newborn baby.  I was amazed how much I needed to eat to keep up with nursing demands and also astonished by the immense challenge of showering, getting dressed or leaving the house, let alone shopping for groceries.  Cooking seemed entirely impossible. 

Luckily my mom loaded us up with fresh fruit, ready-made meals, and hand-held snacks that I could grab while nursing at 2 a.m.  Now, whenever a friend or family member is having a baby, I prepare food for them with or without being asked. 

So, if you’re expecting a baby, go ahead and ask for meals before your little one arrives.  Also, you might want to freeze some casseroles for future use.  If you know someone who will have a newborn, don’t hesitate to volunteer a meal or even set up a meal delivery schedule for them by contacting their family and friends. 

Did you have a similar experience in your first few weeks with baby?  How did you manage to stay fed?  Some of you may be far more resourceful and organized than we were!  

I had forgotten the forceful hunger that overwhelmed me with my first pregnancy until it hit me this second time.  Hunger is no longer just a rumbling in my belly, but a desire to rip food out of other people’s hands and wolf it down like a starving animal.  And then there are the cravings…

With Roscoe, my cravings were quite eco-friendly and appropriate.  I needed sushi all the time but held myself away from the raw fish varieties for safety reasons.  When my husband took me out to a Japanese restaurant for Valentine’s Day I didn’t allow him to speak to me while the sushi was melting in my mouth because it was such a sacred culinary experience.  (He was gracious enough to forgive the fact that my romantic feelings seemed to be more about the food than him at that moment.)

But this second time, I have deep cravings for double cheeseburgers.  That might not seem so bad, except that they need to be made from paper thin beef patties layered with American cheese.  Yes—only fast food burgers will do.  There are a million reasons why we steer clear of fast food restaurants—the disposable food containers, the less than eco-friendly business practices, the fact that the origins of the food are completely unknown and definitely not local.  I also don’t want my son to get hooked on fast food.

Both my husband and I went to fast food as children when our families wanted to provide us with a special treat.  The big chains have worked hard to draw children in when they’re little so they equate the fast food dining experience with positive memories for the rest of their lives.  Roscoe has never been to fast food yet, but this baby has already eaten a handful of double cheeseburgers without ever leaving the womb! 

If only Burgerville, the most eco-friendly fast-food restaurant on the planet, were here in Eugene!  They use local beef and produce and run their delivery trucks on bio-fuels.  I think I’ll have to lobby them to move down here and open shop in the next two months!

Please give me your input on creative ways to overcome these cravings.  I’ve thought of making my own burgers with free range beef at home, but I would have to use American cheese to fully get the cravings resolved and there’s nothing good about buying individually wrapped cheese slices.  Help!  

Is it possible to have a healthy pregnancy and baby on a vegetarian diet?  I have been a vegetarian for about twenty years and have lived to write about it on the Green Baby Guide.  Still, many people seem surprised that I’d continue living meat-free once I had a baby on the way.  Why do I do it?  Here are two reasons:

It’s cheap.  We are full-time vegetarians and rarely spend more than $150 a month on groceries for a couple and a toddler, allotting $60 to organic vegetables and the rest to whole grains, nuts, cheeses, and fruit.  A family our size would shell out $368 on the USDA’s “thrifty plan.”   Instead of relying on coupons and other cost-cutting tricks, we save by skipping the meat. 

I’m conserving resources.  Aside from my thriftiness (and childhood pickiness), I’d always told people I avoided meat “for the environment.”  I knew that eating lower on the food chain was more efficient, but didn’t look into it much further.  I was surprised to learn that livestock (and the grain to feed livestock) takes up a whopping thirty percent of our land’s surface, taking over what used to be wilderness and Amazon rainforests. [1]  Most of us are aware that cars are big polluters–livestock creates eighteen percent more greenhouse gasses than all of our transportation methods put together! 

What are your reasons for avoiding meat?  Did you have a vegetarian pregnancy?  Do you plan to raise your kids as vegetarians?  Raising my daughter vegetarian has worked for me (so far, anyway).  For more Works for Me Wednesday ideas, head on over to We are THAT Family.

[1] According to a 2006  report published by the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization

We attend birthing classes, read books on natural childbirth, practice our breathing, and then the big day arrives. What happens when things don’t go as planned?  When you’re whisked off to C-section after hours of labor?  Or when the pain exhausts you to the point that you need an epidural to continue?

While I had a great experience with our local midwifery clinic and would highly recommend natural childbirth, I was lucky to have several stories to reflect upon before I went into labor.  My sister-in-law, who worked as a family physician for some time, shared that women often experience a sense of failure when things don’t go as planned and they aren’t able to labor naturally. She encouraged me to make a birth plan, educate myself, and then be willing to let go of expectations if things suddenly changed.

Rebecca had to face that outcome in the midst of labor because she had broken her ankle just a few weeks before delivering, which limited her movement and made the pain of childbirth more intense. Although she still planned on delivering naturally, the pain exhausted her to the point that she was utterly unable to move forward.  With the help of an epidural, she got through labor and ended up with a lovely baby girl.

While it’s important for women to know that natural birth is possible, we have to be careful not to judge people who choose other birthing options.  Nor should we idolize people who are able to labor naturally.   As any woman who has gone through a traumatic childbirth experience can share, all that matters in the end is that they were handed a beautiful baby.

If you’ve been keeping up with my series on using a midwife, (click here, here or here for my three previous posts) you may be getting depressed.  Yes, the Nurse Midwifery Birth Center is wonderful, quaint, friendly and covered by most mainstream insurance—but what are people supposed to do who don’t live here in Eugene, Oregon?  What if you’d like a midwife, but aren’t sure where to start looking?

Here are a few tips that I’ve gleaned from friends and family who have found their dream midwives with a bit of research.

1. Ask friends, family and co-workers.  The best references are from people who have had a positive birth experience with a skilled midwife.
2. Check online directories. Midwifery Today has an online directory that can give you names of the people in your area.  Their national conference is being held right here in Eugene, Oregon, this Spring! 
3. Interview your midwife. This is a critical relationship and deserves some important investigation in the beginning.  Ask if she has had any emergencies or fatalities in her history.  Make sure she’s willing to go to the hospital if things go wrong and most importantly, make sure you feel connection and trust in her presence.

Any other tips?  I know several of you have found midwives through hospitals or had doctors come to your homes for the birth.  How did you manage to find the right person to deliver your baby? 

As you may remember from my recent posts on the perspective of midwives and choosing a midwife, I had a wonderful birth experience with the midwifery clinic here in town.  Here are my top ten favorite things about working with the Nurse Midwifery Birth Center:

1. Personalized attention. My appointments are generally between 45 minutes to an hour and involve plenty of time for questions and information.  The midwife always presents all the options and allows my husband and me to make the final decisions.  It’s so empowering!
2. Flexibility. It was up to us to choose whether we wanted to give birth at the clinic or the hospital. (Although pregnancies with high risk of complications have to be delivered at the hospital).  Either way, our midwife would supervise the birth and support our pregnancy.
3. Comforting atmosphere. I gave birth to my first son on a bean bag in a room filled with an antique, quilt-covered bed, a birthing ball, and beautiful artwork.  The medical equipment fits into this beautiful old home but doesn’t overwhelm it.
4. A quick return homeward. We spent just eighteen hours at the midwifery center and then were happily back in the comfort of our own home.  Most parents there return home far sooner than we did!
   
5. Follow up visits. Within 24 hours after the birth, a nurse visited our home to weigh our child, help us with breastfeeding, and answer questions.  It was such a gift not to have to leave the house.
6. Ongoing support. Once a week the midwifery center has a free baby clinic where parents can come to weigh their babies, discuss breastfeeding, and ask questions.  But most of the best stuff happens in the waiting room when parents get a chance to bond about the traumas and joys of early parenting.
7. Breastfeeding education. Not only does the clinic provide a breastfeeding class, they have a tremendous amount of information available after the baby is born.  I was able to call a hotline 24 hours a day to problem-solve and get further support at the free weekly baby clinics.
8. Family-friendly environment.  Now that we’re expecting our second, it’s wonderful to be able to bring my two year old to the clinic and know it’s built for family.  There are loads of toys in the waiting room,  a potty seat in the bathroom and plenty of crayons and scratch paper.
9. More freedom.  We were able to bring our own food to the birth and prepare it in the small kitchen which adjoins the birthing room.  My mom, a former Lamaze teacher, and my husband were right by my side the entire time and only had to share my room with one nurse and one midwife.  At other births I’ve attended, there have been a herd of medical people in the room during labor.
10. Eco-friendly community. Many birth center parents are using cloth diapers, wooden toys, and slings.  It’s nice to talk to a group of people who are also going green with baby.

There’s more, but I’ll have to stop because the list could easily go on forever.  I’m infinitely grateful that we had the opportunity to give birth at the center.  Next week we’ll help you search for a midwifery services in your area!  

It’s official.  I’m hungry every fifteen minutes.  It’s tough to always grab healthy foods on the go, especially with pregnancy cravings haunting me when I’m at my hungriest.  Do you have any ideas for snacks that I may not have thought of yet?  I eat lots of nuts and some cheese, but I’m still famished much of the time.  Thanks for sharing your insights!

When I meet a pregnant person I try hard not to launch into a full speech about my experience with midwives, but I have to confess that it’s happened a few times.  So why have I become suddenly evangelical about this alternative to the typical hospital birth? 

In my experience, midwives bring an entirely different perspective to the birth.  Doctors are trained for years in how to cure sick people.  On the other hand, midwives specialize in empowering women to find natural, non-invasive ways to stay as comfortable as possible during labor.

Now I’m not going to say that people should only have natural births, but in this age of scheduled C-sections it does seem like we’ve gone to some extremes.  Doctors are extremely nervous about liability and often move toward surgery or drugs far more quickly than they necessarily have to.  But with the proper education, coaching and support, many more women would be able to deliver naturally and feel like they had more options in the birthing process.

Did you have a positive experience either with a  hospital birth or a midwife?  Did you deliver at home or in a small clinic?  Please share your stories!

With my first pregnancy I had no idea where I wanted to deliver. I just assumed I’d give birth in a hospital with a standard OBGYN. 

After our first doctor’s appointment, however, everything changed.  They whisked us in and out of the office in just ten minutes and everyone, from the receptionists to the physicians, seemed tired and overwhelmed.  The hospital tour depressed me even more.  From the generic pastel wallpaper to the cramped rooms, I knew I didn’t want to deliver there. 

Finally, I had the good fortune to find out about our local Nurse Midwifery Birth Center, a clinic housed in a vintage house with six wonderful midwives, antique furniture and a more homey atmosphere for birth.  This ended up being the room in which our son was born!

Still, when I first found out about the clinic, I was a bit resistant.  Here were just a few of my concerns:

Will it cost more than a hospital birth?

Luckily our midwife center is covered by our insurance program.   Insurance companies realize that a midwife assisted birth is far less expensive than a hospital birth and since our midwives work closely with OBGYN’s, the liability costs stay under control. 

Will it be safe?

In over thirty years of operation, the Nurse Midwifery Birth Center has never lost a mother or a baby.  They refer high risk pregnancies to a team of OBGYNs and only allow low-risk pregnancies to deliver at the clinic.  If there is a possibility that the mother or baby will need more support because of medical issues, the midwife will accompany the mother to the hospital for the birth.

What if I can’t handle the pain?

It’s up to the patient to decide where she wants to deliver.  Pain medications can’t be administered at the midwifery center, but patients can be transferred to the hospital if pain meds are needed.    The truth is, I found that being able to move while at the birth center, use the crouch bar, sit in the tub, and try a variety of positions without being confined to a bed was extremely helpful.

If you’d like to see some photos of real families who used the midwifery clinic and plans for our new clinic to open up sometime in the next few years, check out this online video.  I have to warn you that it made me weep within minutes, but I’m pregnant so you may not have such an emotional reaction. 

I have LOTS more to say about the benefits of using a midwife so stay tuned next week for more details!